On New Year’s Eve, I deleted Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and Reddit from my phone and resolved to take January off from social media.
I found myself spending hours a day on these apps, endlessly scrolling in search of… what? Staying so up-to-date on other people’s lives and constant commentary left me feeling empty. I resented the nagging drive to share content on Instagram Stories, and the guilt I felt if I didn’t post about something — a friend’s party, my daughter’s dance recital — in a timely manner, or at all. I wanted to shut down my virtual world and live entirely in the real world for a month.
The first few days, I compulsively picked up my phone whenever I wanted to procrastinate from working, and it took me a second to realize I didn’t have any of my go-to apps to open. Instead, I checked the weather a lot. At any given moment, I could tell you the exact temperature and when it was going to rain next. I allowed myself to scan the headlines of People.com to get my celebrity news fix, and to Google Taylor Swift to see what she was up to. I also gave myself unlimited access to the New York Times app so I could read news stories and, you know, learn stuff. I don’t get sucked into those resources or lose hours to them over the course of a day like I do with social media.
Soon I reached for my phone less and less often. Instead of opening it, I’d just click the side button to see if I had any texts or missed calls. If not? Back to work, or whatever else I was doing.
My 9-to-5 window became way more productive. I got ahead on my work and had plenty of time to exercise most days at lunchtime. In my off time, because I wasn’t concerned with what everyone else was doing, I had the mental space and clarity to think about what I want to do.
I’m super inspired by the musician Jon Batiste and highly recommend listening to his interview on “Armchair Expert” and watching his documentary “American Symphony.” This quote from the podcast stood out to me:
“If you stop seeing yourself, you stop being yourself, and then you can’t create the thing that’s the most resonant that only you can create.”
Jon Batiste on “Armchair Expert”
I feel more like myself than I have in a long time, and I’m excited to have the time and motivation to create. My goal in 2024 is to write and submit at least one essay or article each month for publication somewhere: a newspaper, magazine or website other than mine.
I wrote two pieces in January and have good ideas for a third and fourth. I submitted one piece and got my first rejection, which just put me one “no” closer to a “yes.” I reworked the piece and submitted it elsewhere.
I’m really excited about the second piece, but need to hold onto it until the time is right. If I can’t find a home for it, I’ll eventually publish it here. That’s the great thing about this goal: The only thing I stand to lose is a bit of ego, and nothing I write will go to waste. I already make a living writing, so I don’t need the validation of getting published to know that I’m a good writer. It would just be icing on the cake; a bit of life extra credit.
Even though I don’t have an objective win yet — that is, a published piece — I’m riding a high from accomplishing what I wanted to do in January, and I’m driven to keep going.
I’m not eager to reinstall any apps to my phone. When I do, it’ll just be Instagram, and I’ll turn off push notifications. I want to use it mindfully, not whenever the app tries to suck me in. And I’ll probably mute or unfollow a bunch of accounts. There’s just a handful of people I found myself wondering about in January, and I only want to spend time keeping up with those I’m truly invested in.
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I also set out to do Dry January — no alcohol for the entire month. I always enjoy a reset after the boozy holiday season. This time I made it to January 15 — Martin Luther King Jr. Day — when Evie and I went with another family to the Pacific Science Center, then found ourselves at the top of the Space Needle taking in a gorgeous 360-degree view of Seattle. The other mom — my friend Kyra — was going to get a drink from the bar, and I thought it sounded pretty fantastic to watch the sun start to set with a bit of sauvignon blanc in hand. We toasted to being Dry January dropouts. (At least the wine was dry!)
I enjoyed it without guilt. Because I’ve done Dry January many times before, I don’t need the validation — again! — to know I can do it. Now the goal is more about drinking mindfully and not falling into a pattern of drinking more than I really want to just because alcohol is around. I enjoyed three more drinks in January, each time while I was out doing something fun with people I love.
When it comes to what I put into my body, moderation and intention feel good and healthy; rigid restriction does not. I want to be in control of my life, but also to enjoy it. I know all too well that it can be much too short.
If you’re a Dry January devotee, good on you — especially if it’s the first step on a path to sobriety. But if you enjoy drinking in moderation, consider Damp January (or February, or whenever). Shift the focus to intention, and don’t worry about failing at an all-or-nothing goal.
I’m lucky and grateful to be able to have one drink, enjoy it, then stop. (This was not the case in college, but luckily I grew out of that.) I find Instagram to be far more addictive. Is it a thing to be social-media sober? I’m not willing to entirely give up on sharing photos and keeping up with online friends, so I’ll work to find a balance.
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I’m sure some people thought my unexplained absence from Instagram meant something happened with my mom, but she’s still with us and nothing much has changed. She has been re-certified for hospice a second time and seems just a little worse every time I see her. I’m moving forward with life and even have a few trips planned this year; I’ve given up on planning for the unknowable.
Less drinking. WAY less scrolling. Much more writing. That’s my 2024 so far.
Dev on Running 