Month: November 2011

…for everything I’ve ever learned from America’s Next Top Model, yet all I can think of is this:

Do you remember when I posted about applying to be a volunteer Brooks model?

First of all, I’m not deluded enough to think that I could be an actual model. I’m 5’6", currently rockin’ 140 pounds — I’ll never be model-tall or model-thin. But the Brooks opportunity called for people who wear size medium, and I definitely do. Plus, it’s a running company, not Dolce & Gabbana.

I saw this call for volunteers on Facebook, by the way, which made me think it was super-casual and I might have a shot. I sent in my measurements, shoe size, contact info and a photo. Then I didn’t hear anything back and thought, “Meh. Oh, well.”

Monday morning, I got an email from Brooks inviting me to come to a fitting Tuesday night at a swanky hotel very close to my workplace. It said:

“We’ll use this session to determine who will be needed for our Wednesday Show. If selected, we’ll need you to stay until 6pm on Tuesday for a dress rehearsal. Anyone selected will receive a swag bag of Brooks gear.”

Swag bag? Count me in!

Fast-forward to tonight. The designated meeting place was a space outside a group of conference rooms.

Picture this, you guys: MODELS. Actual models. People who dress up and have pictures taken of them for a living. That’s who was at this fitting. Fitness models.

I moseyed in wearing jeans, a tank and a cardigan — straight from work, mind you — while about seven very fit, tall, gorgeous girls and two supernaturally attractive men dressed in fitness gear clutched their portfolios and discussed their latest bookings. FML.

Now picture me feeling extremely embarrassed and, well, short. Considering the company.

I thought about leaving, but only for a second, and then I figured the whole thing would at least make a good story. I totally tried to smile and act like I belonged there. Wheee!

The Brooks woman in charge brought out a bunch of outfits and had us each try on a cold-weather and a warm-weather outfit. She said she would only end up choosing three of us. I went to the (very nice) hotel bathroom with all the girls to change, and tried not to be intimidated by the other girls’ abs. Jeez, ladies, really with the abs?

My cold-weather outfit consisted of capris, a t-shirt and a pullover jacket with thumbholes. Everything fit fine, but I still felt kind of dumpy and defeated. I went back out into the hallway with several girls to show the Brooks woman, and she looked at everyone down the line and asked most girls to turn around to show the rear view — except for me. I figured I was already out of the running, so she didn’t need to see my badonkadonk. Well, fine.

I changed into my warm-weather outfit — shorts and a “Run Happy” t-shirt — and went back out to show her. This time, she asked me to turn around and show her how the waistband of the shorts fit. OK, that’s progress, I thought!

We all changed back into our street clothes and sat around the woman as one late girl tried on her two outfits. I positioned myself closest to the exit so I could leave ASAP after the woman announced who she wanted. All the models were fiddling with their phones, so I hopped onto Tumblr and posted this.

I also creepily snapped a photo of some of the outfits we tried on and the Laptop of Judgment:

Then the Brooks woman said she’d be keeping four girls, and she listed their names.

“[random name]… [random name]… Devon… and [random name].”

Um, what now? WTF??

Then she said to the other girls:

“I’m sorry, you guys, it was just how the clothes fit. Thanks for coming.”

I kept waiting for the woman to realize she’d mixed up the names, but the other model-type girls left, I stayed put and she didn’t say a word. What. The. Hell!

So guess what I’m doing tomorrow? A freakin’ runway show at the Brooks company planning meeting. We actually practiced how we’ll walk down the runway, and the legitimate models helped figure out what kinds of formations we’ll walk in for different parts of the show, where we’ll stop and pose, etc.

After we rehearsed and were all about to leave, I asked the woman why she chose four girls instead of three. (I’m certain if she went with three, I wouldn’t have made it.) She just said we all fit the clothes and had good “Run Happy” attitudes. There are something like 15 “looks” for each person to model, too, so there are plenty of clothes to go around on four bodies. Um, OK!

So there you have it. The “story” I was originally gonna tell you guys was how I went to this fitting and, crap, there were all these actual models and I didn’t get picked, but it was still a funny situation. The ACTUAL story is just crazy. And cool. AND CRAZY.

Again, I’m not deluded enough to think that I’m any better than those girls that didn’t get chosen — they would wipe the floor with my sorry ass at any other fitting — I just think they were probably a little too thin and didn’t fill out the size medium clothes.

I can fill that shiz out all day long.

…do I have a story for YOU guys!

I hate the word “taper.” It just doesn’t sit well with me, kind of like how some people don’t like the word “moist” (although probably for different reasons…).

It reminds me of the tapir – “a large browsing mammal,” FYI – because I fed one once at the zoo. I’ll never forget the way its snout snuffled around in my hand for that carrot.

ANYWAY. My weird issues aside, I’m really happy with how my taper/tapir is going so far. It’s only been one day, but whatever.

After running 20 miles, my legs felt 98% normal yesterday aside from a little knee creakiness. By the end of the day, even that was gone, and I would never have believed I ran that far on Sunday. That’s crazy shiz.

I owe it to stretching, foam rolling, icing my knees and ankles, wearing compression sleeves and spending pretty much the entire day with my legs propped up on a pillow. I didn’t do an ice bath, but apparently all of that stuff did my legs lots of favors regardless.

Last night I cleaned the bathroom I share with my roommate, which was long overdue and legitimately counts as a strength workout. Then I did the two ab circuits from Jillian Michaels’ “No More Trouble Zones” DVD, plus this core workout. I’m just now starting to feel the daggers from those side planks.

I was done with all this by 8:30 or so and literally had nothing to do besides eat dinner, so I went to sleep ridiculously early. The night felt pretty empty without running or going to the gym. Sleep is nice, though. I’ll take it, early and often, and in large quantities.

Back to running tonight. Yayyy!

This is the face of someone who’s super happy to be done running 20 MILES. (That’s insane.)

Time: 3:15:17
Pace: 9:46

My goal for this run was to maintain about a 9:40 pace — the average pace of most of my good long runs during marathon training. I figured if I could stick close to that pace, then I’m prepared for a nice, satisfying first marathon.

Here’s how it all went down:

Miles of note:

* Mile 12 (10:04): I spent some time searching for a playground with a restroom after I saw a sign indicating “PLAYGROUND” and “RESTROOM.” The trail then split off in a few different directions with no subsequent signage to follow up on those promises, so I went in (slow) circles for a while. Once I did find the restroom, it was closed. For the whole season. And also the water fountain was turned off. HOLY FRUSTRATION.

* Mile 13 (9:20): I then hit up a grocery store restroom and water fountain, which was way better than that other stupid restroom would have been anyway (I’m still bitter). The store was really cozy and warm, making it seem freezing outside when I hit the trail again. This faster mile helped me warm back up!

* Miles 14 (10:25) and 18 (10:01): Clearly I’m a psychopath/was smoking crack when I planned this route. Look at those hills.

Luckily the run ended with a massive downhill, which was obviously terrible for my knees, but anything other than uphill running felt like angel kisses at that point.

I really lucked out with no rain, very little wind and cold-but-comfortable temps. And I spent many, many miles on the Burke-Gilman trail, which mostly looked like this.

3+ hours is a very long time to be alone with my thoughts (no music), but the gorgeous fall scenery helped keep me happy and entertained.

My fueling plan worked out really well. I took a chocolate Clif Shot at miles 6, 12 and 17, plus swigged Nuun every few miles. I was hungry at the end of this run, though, so can someone please deliver me a Hungry-Man dinner at mile 20 of Rock ‘n’ Roll Las Vegas? Thanks.

Immediately after getting home, I collapsed on the couch with a banana and scarfed it in 2.5 seconds. The banana is the greatest fruit of all fruits. Don’t even try to fight me on this.

My stomach felt great and I also ate a chicken breast, a few little tangerines and the majority of a box of Stovetop Stuffing (’tis the season). After last weekend’s stomach disaster, I’m incredibly pleased with how “Operation Stay Sober and Don’t Vomit” is going. Trademark pending.

The marathon is three weeks from TODAY. Holy crap. My last double-digit run is a 12-miler next weekend, and the rest of my training plan looks like cake. Delicious taper cake.

Can’t wait to see you all in Vegas.

My granddad, who died in September, was a World War II combat veteran. Happy Veterans Day to him, my other grandpa (who died in 2001 and was also a veteran) and everyone else who has served and is currently serving for this country.

Wasn’t my granddad a handsome devil? I think my brother looks just like him.

Not sure if I look like my grandma at all, but I think she was gorgeous. Just my unbiased opinion. : )

I’m off work today to spend time with my dad. We’re meeting for breakfast at 9:30, and I think waiting to eat until then is tougher than most long runs I’ve done. I’m sta-a-a-a-a-rving!

Whether you celebrate Veterans Day with thanks or 11/11/11 with a wish — or how about both with a nice run? — I hope y’all have a good one.

I had my roommate snap this before I headed out to run tonight. Extremely dorky, I know. What else would you expect?

I’m pretty much showing off every crazy-runner accessory I own: compression sleeves, fuel belt, blinky light attached to the belt, Garmin, headlamp. My RoadID is on, but you can’t see it. If my foam roller was hanging out in the background, the insanity would be complete!

I set out to do a recovery 5-miler since I ran the hell out of 10 miles last night. (May I casually direct you to observe the last four mile splits from that run? I call that blind adrenaline.)

Anyway, I accidentally hit the “lap” button in the middle of my second mile tonight, which jacked up my splits, so here they are — roughly, and without a pretty chart:

Mile 1 — 9:01
Mile 2 — 9:30
Mile 3 — 9:23
Mile 4 — 9:23
Mile 5 — 9:26

46:48 — 9:21 average pace

I started out fast because I was pretty cold — just felt like wearing shorts in November, you know? — and needed to warm up, and for the rest of the run I worked to pull back. I found it tough to slow down on a short run like this, but I came up behind a slower runner and instead of passing him, I hung out a ways behind him and matched his pace. Boom.

For strength, I then did this core workout from Runner’s World (except for the “metronome” move, which my IT bands didn’t appreciate). I’m all for core-building exercises that aren’t crunches!!

Now I have two rest days before I run 20 miles on Sunday. It’ll cap off a 40-mile week — the peak of my marathon training, and my highest mileage week ever.

Then I taper. Then I kill 26.2. So excited.